My name is Lynne Jenkins and I have a
manic-depressive illness. I was diagnosed when I was about 28 after
having a nervous breakdown. I can’t say exactly when my mood swings
began but there were signposts along the way. It is just that no one
recognized the symptoms as such when they first occurred.
I
could tell you about my hospital stays, the drugs, the strange things I
did, waking up in restraints or the suicide attempts. I could tell you
about the many new current theories. Instead I will tell you what I did
to heal myself and what I do to manage my illness. I have now been
drug-free for over 24 years.
Back in
the '60s
there was a lack of information about the illness. Then mood disorders
were considered to be rooted in psychological trauma. An unhappy
childhood could condemn a person to lifelong depression and it was
presumed that psychoanalysis or long-term psychotherapy was the way to
exorcise the traumas of the past. Currently the psychiatric and medical
professions regard bipolar disorder as a biological brain condition,
which has a genetic basis and involves disturbed brain chemistry.
Originally a doctor told me it happened because I was too fat and did
not get enough nooky.
When I incurred
this
illness there was little support or information available. I was on my
own. My family and those around me were in denial and I believe my
Higher power pointed the way. It was not until four years ago that I
learned I had a serious illness. It was such a relief as I had always
blamed myself as did those around me.
So what
did I do? What didn’t I do on my journey? Luckily I had a therapist who
loved me and he was the one who told me to come off the drugs because
eventually they would harm my liver and kidneys. The starting point is
different and the causes are unique for everyone. First off, I am not
advising anyone to come off their drugs. That is between you and your
doctor. I did not do this all at once – it was a progression.
When
we look to the wisdom of the ancients most had a system of managing
their health by employing nature’s elements, earth (food, oils, herbs
and colours), air (oxygen), fire (physical exercise), and water (fresh,
life-giving water that makes up over 90% of our bodies). If any of
these aspects are out of balance, we become out of balance. So I
learned over time that this condition required a multidimensional
approach.
• I had my allergies checked and
learned I had many. I eliminated most wheat, gluten and milk products,
and I am still working on my diet. I did not get allergy shots. Instead
I underwent NAET therapy for allergies, and am currently going to a
Chinese herbalist and acupuncturist.
• I joined
a gym. As well, yoga helped me tremendously (I found out what a poor
breather I was) and learned that as I breathed my emotions came up.
•
I went to every seminar and therapist that would help me release my
emotions. Once the backlog was out I would no longer go out of balance
as much. (I came from a British family and I was a “stuffer.”)
Therapies included reiki, craniosacral, rolfing, therapeutic touch,
holotropic breathwork, soma emotional release work and rebirthing —
which is the profession I am in at this time. Like an onion I began to
peel off the layers. Wholistic therapists are not threatened by people
letting out their emotions and nobody gave me a Valium, or a sleeping
pill.
• I began to listen to positive thinking
tapes — I had to change my core beliefs about life and myself.
•
I joined Weight Watchers but was unsuccessful. (Chinese Medicine theory
believes that many people with mood disorders have too much “heat” in
the body. I have too much heat and too much mucous. If one has too much
mucous one cannot lose weight.)
• I learned to
say “no” and to set boundaries.
• I found a
naturopathic doctor and therapists who believed in me and the non-use
of drugs.
• I began to take courses in every
therapy I could afford and was interested in. I became a professional
rebirther, reiki master and an NLP master. There were some good
therapies and some bad — I have had feathers flicked over me, eggs
rolled on me, my grids changed and much more. I have come out of
therapies black and blue but from each one I learned something.
•
I practised self- responsibility. Where was I not taking responsibility
for myself, where did I not love myself? This hit home the day I
realized the only person who would be with me from the day I was born
until the day I died would be me and the Creator.
•
I asked the Divine to heal me.
Mental Aspects
Does
manic depression arise from something I am thinking? For example I have
noticed that if I do not problem-solve I will go over and over the same
material working myself into a negative state. Many of us have stinking
thinking. Our minds can make us sick. We must focus on our intention.
Up to 90% of what we do is intention. We can use our will to help us
develop the four aspects of our nature. Yogananda says “The greater the
will, the greater the flow of energy.” Our will power is the force that
helps us to make decisions and then act on them.
We
must develop a positive mental attitude. We have to change our beliefs
and focus on what we want, not what we don’t want. We must move onto a
higher consciousness because our body is influenced by the mind and
spirit.
During my downs I would
chastise myself
repeatedly and dwell on every failure throughout my life. Now I catch
myself and say “stop” and reframe what I am saying.
Even
though I am now normally positive and outgoing, I still can become
pessimistic and withdrawn, but I assure myself it will not last long
and honour the reasons why I am “down.” I do not make myself wrong for
feeling “blue.”
Physical Aspects
Detoxing,
nourishing and strengthening the body helps to reduce stress and
tension. And disease cannot occur in a well-oxygenated body. All
disease stems from unhealthy cells and when our cells are healthy there
can be no disease.
It is very
important to
detoxify, which does not necessarily mean a three- day fast. Take the
number of years old you are and divide it by 10 and that is the number
of years it will take to do a thorough detox. Heavy metals found mostly
in the brain work like an antennae. They pick up the electromagnetic or
geopathic interference which exacerbates the symptoms of mood
disorders. It has been found that prison inmates have a high
consumption of sugar and junk foods. People lose control of their lives
in some cases because of multiple food allergies and disturbed blood
sugar metabolism which affects their brain processes. Research has
found that these same people become much more grounded on a healthy
diet. Research further shows that chronic malnutrition leads to
biochemical imbalances and there is little doubt that this plays a
large part in behaviour disorders and personality malfunctions.
Correcting your diet leads to positive changes in behaviour. Depression
can wreak havoc on the immune system.
In one
study, people with bipolar disorder who were given fish oils did better
than those who did not receive this dietary supplement. Lynda Hamilton
in her wellness course states that often bipolar people make wrong
choices with food, being big coffee and cigarette people. This was
rampant in my family. In the past year I have become almost coffee-free
and am down to five cigarettes a night. It is a daily battle and hard
to break a 50-year old habit.
The
highest
concentration of neurotransmitters in our body are found in our gut and
not the brain. Epilepsy and schizophrenia symptoms have improved or
disappeared when gluten has been removed from the diet in sensitive
individuals.
If you are prone to
depression,
insomnia, migraines, weight problems, hyperactivity or mood swings you
may not be getting enough tryptophan. Eat foods such as cottage cheese,
brown rice, nuts, avocados, dried apricots and fermented soy protein,
including organic tempeh and miso.
If
you crave
carbohydrates it may be a cry for seratonin. The link between mood and
carbohydrates is strong. Carbohydrates directly affect the level of
tryptopan that is sent to the brain.
Emotional
Aspects
We are our
emotions. Good health requires free flow
of emotions. Manic depression may be one way emotions show themselves.
What emotions do I need to express? It is enough to feel my own
feelings and be responsible for myself. I can empathize with others but
I don’t have to feel their feelings or be responsible for them.
How
we perceive what happens to us, the weight we lend to our life
experiences, determines how they will register in our bodies. Emotions
play out biologically. Remember, it is usually an emotional block that
brings about a physical disorder. Many people are in denial about their
emotions because they don’t feel good or are not in keeping with the
person’s self image.
The journey of
healing is
similar to doing laundry in a washing machine. When the soap and water
touch the garments, grime is loosened and it rises to the surface. If
you looked into the washing machine during the agitation cycle, you
would be repulsed and think that the clothes are getting dirtier.
Actually they are getting cleaner. The muck must be extracted before it
can be discarded.
Spiritual
Giri
means having a commitment or obligation to society and to oneself. Each
person has a commitment to live out his or her role in society in a
truly honourable way and to treat with the same honour each person that
we come in contact with. If everyone is practising giri this invokes
trust in the universe as a whole and there is little need for civil or
criminal law. I have done much better since I found my life work.
Find
a reason to live. Tap into a Higher Power. We must also be healed of
spirit. What those in the west view as mental illness, the Dagara
people regard as “good news from the other world.” The person going
through the crisis has been chosen as a medium for a message to the
community that needs to be communicated from the spirit realm.
Am
I taking time to be creative, go inside, meditate, or pray? Do I need
to go to church or join a spiritual group, or buy some inspiring books?
I cannot always be in a giving position or “on”. I have to take time
for myself. I can only give from a full cup. I don’t do extremes any
more. I am no longer over-responsible at the expense of myself. Am I
taking time to relax?
Summary
I
believe we can manage our illnesses. I believe we can heal but all
healing takes time and hard work. A thorn hurts as it goes it and it
hurts as it is pulled out. We must make the effort to do what it takes
to heal our lives.
I believe we have
to start
putting as much energy and money into researching mood disorders as we
do physical diseases, or viruses. We have to start understanding. We
have to stop locking our people with mood disorders away in prisons, or
letting them wander unprotected on the streets. We have to care because
a society will be judged by how it treats its most vulnerable people.
As
one of my clients put it: “get rid of anything and anyone who does not
love you support you or is good for you.”
Know
Your Triggers
Now when I become
depressed I check in with
myself — have I used up too much energy, am I cold? Hungry? is it my
thinking? And I nip it in the bud.
The Downside
of Drugs
Lithium can cause
hypothryroidism. Quitting Lithium
can send you into a manic episode.
Drugs do not
conform to the ancient, earth concept of healing because drugs are a
non-living form of chemistry and suppress symptoms — except for
antibiotics. Drugs are not sufficient to produce life and have no
life-giving power apart from the cooperative life force of the patient.
Modern science excels in diagnosis, microsurgery and in acute emergency
care. However, in preventive therapy and in the case of chronic,
long-term therapy, drugs do not supply the living chemical elements
needed for life and health, while foods, herbs, oils and colour are a
natural living supply of life-generating elements. Herbs are a living
source of chemicals.
Never stop trying. Never give up. We
cannot just expect our drugs to change our lives. We have to take
responsibility for our wellness.
Currently, I
very quickly notice when I am “off” or in a negative state. If I am
tired, why? Do I need to get some sleep, do I need to eat? Am I
drained? Do I need to drop some people, or chores out of my life? I
focus on what I want not what I don’t want. There is always another
level we can reach. Currently I am going to the gym three times a week
and I walk a lot — I do weights, aerobic and sometimes yoga and pilates.
I
am still working on my diet and as often as I can afford it I eat
organic. I eat very little meat and I take probiotics. I am coming off
estrogen and am stopping smoking. I drink very little alcohol and tons
of water.
I am still detoxing and go
to a
Chinese acupuncturist herbalist twice a month and I get as many
treatments I can of massage, rebirthing, reiki, reflexology and I
meditate. I also go to a sweat lodge usually monthly. I also do a lot
of organic oils. I want to do Semor Matrix work and if I could afford
it I would go to a naturopath and a homeopathic therapist and
nutritionist. Life at last is good.